Posie's Blog. Tales of island life on a hebridean hill farm

Posie's Blog. Tales of island life on a hebridean hill farm

Saturday, 12 May 2007

A girly blog




I had my sister in law in hysterics toady when she phoned about her forth coming party to mark her 40th. We were discussing outfits, and I happened to mention that I had read an article about Trinny and Susannah, the well known ‘clothes’ duo. We were talking strappy little numbers, and not having much of a bust to shout about I had read that Trinny places chicken fillets in her bra, as I had read the article and then re read it I could not help thinking yeuk.

I was telling my sister in law about this, asking what she thought. I mean does Trinny just place the raw sticky fillets in her bra, or does she cook them first? Would she place them in a plastic bag, rustling along as she bops the night away,or does she go for the whole full on salmonella thing, raw and sticky? I began to imagine the aroma that must follow her about as the evening hots up, surely if she is dancing away in a nightclub, with chicken in that bra of hers, sweating away, it must get awfully pongee.

These issues had been troubling me for a few days. I couldn’t get over what seems to be such a stylish young lady even admitting to carrying out such a disgusting pastime all for the sake of a cleavage. I mean you just wouldn’t share that kind of information in a national magazine, and no it wasn’t the latest issue of our ‘old monthly’! Of course by this time my sister in law was positively wetting herself and took a while to find her voice again, when she did manage to surface for air, her response was ‘that’s it, you have been living in that place for far too long…’. Apparently they sell these chicken fillets, not just in supermarkets, but in lingerie departments, although the ones in lingerie departments are made out of silicone, they are just called chicken fillets. Now I might have been gullible enough to believe the chicken fillets I chop up for curries or a stirfry have become the latest fashion accessory in the city for a cleavage, but thankfully I am not so daft or desperate to have such a cleavage. Phew. Now I know my blog is about country living, and here is my point, I find more and more that fashions and accessories go right over my head, and I hardly get to hear of them, in the country. Luckily next weekend I will be away joining the city girls for the birthday bash, without my chicken fillets. Must spread the word on the island, just in case someone is as gullible as me, but slightly more daft. Feeding the chickens took on a whole new perspective today!

Until next time….

20 comments:

sally's chateau said...

Well I'm as clueless as you then, and better for it I say !!

Inthemud said...

It all sounds pretty gross, but I think they are just called chicken fillets because of ther shape but are in fact made of gel!!

Blog made me laugh! Great!

ChrisH said...

Oh You!! Mind you, your idea could bring an abrupt end to a romantic evening! 'Some enchanted evening... you may see find a chicken fillet!'

lampworkbeader said...

I have been reliably informed by he who knows, that cycle racing bods in the Tour de France used to put raw meat in their shorts to protect their tender parts when in the saddle. It's a shame it wasn't real chicken fillets she used in her bra. She is such a ghastly woman I could believe anything of her.

elizabethm said...

oh Rosie, you made me laugh and laugh but do know what you mean about getting out of touch and i keep going off to london (clearly in a rather blinkered way!). have a good time.

mutterings and meanderings said...

They do look like chicken fillets though!

I had a friend who lost one down the loo during a drunken night out ..

@themill said...

I too avoid the nitty gritty of the calving. Better to supervise from afar - or better still, stay out of sight and dispense cooing noises (to both cow and farmer) once it is all over.
Got a bottle of wine from my guests today, but no knives!

@themill said...

Forgot to say, about the chicken fillets. We were invited to an incredibly swish 21st last year with a bevvy of stunning beauties, and one of them, making a gracious entrance, tripped on the garden steps and one of her chicken fillets went flying through the air. Poor girl was mortified, while the boys were hysterical.

KittyB said...

That's so funny - bless you! I am so gullible too so I really can't laugh. I was incredibly flat chested when I was younger and bought some 'chicken fillets' (to help fill out the gaping Wonderbra). I can report they were so heavy they made your ribs ache somehow, and they slipped around in your bra and sometimes poked out at inopportune moments. You had to spend the night staring down your top just to check! Not good overall.

Pondside said...

I have to get out more! I was right there with you - completely grossed out at the thought of raw meat in the bra. I thought "Is it because of the weight and the texture?" I'd gladly donate a little of my cleavage as I am short and sometimes feel a little off-balance.

bodran... said...

I had to do a double take when my flat chested friend arrived with boobs and admitted to chicken fillets!! being a veggie i was not impressed....x

WesterWitch/Headmistress said...

Oh dear and I thought it was the real thing and I was going to shove the whole chicken down my bra . . . oh well have to re-think.

JacquiMcR said...

Posie, I'm using today to catch up on all the blogs that I've never had a chance to read before. Todays blog makes me thankful I have a substantial cleavage, although I have wished in the past that it was reduced.

Which Island is it that you live on? Your pictures are lovely. I haven't yet progressed to posting any as am only getting to grips with the digital camera I got for christmas.

Take care - Jacqui x

UN PEU LOUFOQUE said...

Ok no I am with you totally clue less but now I am stuck with image of Trinny or whichever one with festing poulty down her lingerie! Yuck yuck yuckity yuck!!

Inthemud said...

We too have had successsion of hamsters with older children, used to take them to Norfolk every summer but one year we had a disaster on very hot day and stuck in traffic jam for an hour on A12 , poor hamster died of heat stroke i think.

muddyboots said...

gosh, this is soooo funny. l've warned Harry about cotton wool padding but chicken fillets.......... l don't think l'll elaborate for him

Exmoorjane said...

I think the real thing sounds good - if you got hungry, you could just pop on a little salt and tuck in!
Jxx

Suffolkmum said...

I laughed out loud at this - at last, someone else as gullible as me - I always assumed they were frozen fillets or something!

countrymousie said...

I luckily dont have to resort to these chicken fillets - the undie shop sells them near me - they come in their own little box - they look gross and feel really weird to touch - of course I had to have a good old prod.

Open Eyes Blinded By The Knowledge Of All That Is said...

I have to admit, I was rolling with laughter as I read this post.... I too, have a vivid imagination and was wondering about the logistics of placing chicken fillets there in order to enhance clevage...